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May these words help you and your children embody and radiate love, like rays of
life-sustaining sunshine, as you navigate the unchartered waters
of daily living with clarity, confidence and ease.
With infinite love and infinite respect Welcome!
It’s my honor and pleasure to share this with you. Thank you for being an integral part of this global Conscious Parenting community where we connect our hearts and souls as we share information and energies. Where we help each other ascend to new heights of conscious awareness.
We’re also linked in this magical process with God’s Infinite and Amazing Grace.
Let’s take a moment now and consciously connect with one another.
Stress comes and goes. What stressed us in the past may not be stressing us now. What’s stressing us now may have never done so before. What’s stressing us now may never do so again.
Stress shifts but the unhealthy physical, mental and emotional effects that arise from how we respond to stress can be devastating and remain long after the circumstances that triggered the stress have disappeared.
Many parents are unknowingly but painfully still holding a lot of tension from when they were stressed as children. These unresolved and unreleased tensions not only affect us but our children as well.
We’ve most likely forgotten the stressful situations we faced at the various times of our childhood but their effects can remain in our bodies and our subconscious minds, hindering our efforts to be conscious parents.
Our own stresses as adults can also blind us to the stressful challenges or dis“eases” our children currently confront.
In this post we’ll explore how we can acknowledge, embrace and transcend our own stress, while helping our children to do the same.
We will provide you and your children with tools you can use for a lifetime to respond to and transcend stress. Instead of reacting to stress in hurtful ways or “distracting” yourself and/or your children, pretending it’s not there, you can embrace stress.
You’ll learn to appreciate stress, yourself and your children in whole new ways, as you stay calm and centered in the midst of all activities and stressful situations.
“Appreciating each other is a true family value, one that will bail out much of the stress on the planet and help strengthen the universal bond all people have.” ~ Sara Paddison
We can use stressful situations as keys to open our hearts to the unique gifts our precious children bring to our lives and the unique gifts we have to offer our children.
Whether you are a parent, grandparent, caretaker, educator, expectant parent, or simply someone who wants to live a conscious and productive life with rewarding relationships--together we will explore Consciously Embracing & Transcending Stress.
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” - William James
If it’s safe for you to do so, bring one or both of your hands to your heart and close your eyes. Invite your blessed teachers and guides, your beautiful children and family members, to be with us energetically.
On a long, slow inhale fill your entire being with the radiant love you are. Hold it for a moment and feel this radiant energy pulsating in every cell of your beautiful body. When you’re ready, exhale with a verbal SAAAA, sending your love to everyone listening in this moment and to those who will be listening to the recording.
To receive the full benefits of the practices and energetic attunements taking place during the Program, I invite you to be fully present when listening. If you are unable to devote your undivided attention at this time, please listen again when you can gift yourself with total awareness. Stay with us now, but do tune in again.
Devoting your full attention to this program, consciously embracing and transcending stress, may actually be stressful for you. Most of us are used to multitasking. Dialing back to one thing at a time can be stressful, even though in the long run, it’s more efficient and productive. It’s the only way we can truly be present with our children and everyone else.
Slowing down our speech and actions can also be stressful--we’ve become so accustomed to the quick changing images and conversations in video games, television shows, and movies. Have you ever noticed how much bombards you in a short 3 minutes? As a result of modern living, most people have an attention span of 11 seconds. Their mind is constantly on the move, jumping from one thought to another. Over 20,000 times a day—that’s how many thoughts get generated until we consciously take control of our mind. How stressful is that?
Our beings are actually designed to think only when you want to think and then only what you want to think about? Did you know you function most effectively with a clear mind that allows information to come in as needed, that guides your every action with ease and your best interest at heart? Your intuition is designed to be functioning in each moment, not every now and then.
As a society we’ve forgotten how to slow down, how to live as we were designed.
Most people beginning yoga or t’ai chi quit after a few weeks because they are not used to moving so slow—it’s stressful to their norm. When they get beyond the initial discomfort, they find a whole new world of living in harmony with themselves and all of life.
John De Paola said, “Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.”
Brain research shows that we resist any kind of change after age fifteen. We love playing with what we already know and are willing to play with it for the rest of our lives. It doesn’t matter if it’s not in our best interest, painful or keeps us from achieving our full potential. Throw something new or unexpected into the mix and all our systems go on red alert. Resistances arise. Excuses arise--all of which seem very valid to our conditioned minds.
Minds conditioned by well intentioned, for the most part anyway, but unconscious parents; family; friends; educational, governmental, and religious institutions; and society. Do you think you’d have the same beliefs, thoughts, feelings, stresses, likes and dislikes if you were raised by someone other than your parents, in a country other than the one you were raised in?
It takes courage to find out who you really are, be the conscious expression of who you really are. This involves embracing and transcending stress and everything else about your self.
Even listening to a program like this can cause stress. It’s moving slower than you may be used to. But just like t’ai chi and yoga, if you don’t give in to the restlessness of your mind, you’ll find great, lasting benefits here.
If you have any questions or reflections you would like to share, please email them to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll explore them in upcoming shows or blogs. That’s consciously parenting at gmail.com
The beloved Fred Rogers, in the World According to Mister Rogers, said, “In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.”
As we talked about last week, asking your questions inwardly is personally empowering. Take them into meditation or prayer with you. Ask for guidance as you go to sleep.
Be open to receiving answers in many ways: dreams, something you read, a comment from a friend, a song on the radio. The universe is talking to us all the time. Perhaps the answer will come while listening to a bird sing or your cat’s purrs while curled in your lap. Answers can arise as your eyes are captivated by a gorgeous sunset or your dog’s tail wagging at the sheer delight of seeing you.
Show your children how to tune into their hearts for answers to some of their questions and concerns too. That doesn’t mean you tell a child who wants to know how something works or what’s in their favorite food to sit quietly, pray and meditate on it. But you can direct children to sit quietly and reflect on their feelings or their likes and dislikes.
So, in addition to slowing down and focusing on one task at a time, how do we consciously embrace stress?
An unknown author said, “Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!”
We can consciously embrace stress, enjoying it like a delicious dessert. Looking for the sweetness in it. Looking for the gift it holds.
Harry Emerson Fosdick, a celebrated Christian Preacher said, “No one can get inner peace by pouncing on it.”
Life brings many challenges, some we consciously create to expand our horizons and others show up on our doorsteps unexpectedly. These too expand our horizons!
Many of these challenges are not comfortable. Some even seem insurmountable. But welcoming them, embracing them, can dial the stress meter back.
In last week’s show about the gifts of conscious parenting, I shared several, what anyone would call magical or wonderful, experiences and interactions with my daughter—interactions that made me a more conscious parent, a more conscious being. But it’s been the tragedies Melanie has faced and conquered that have made me even more conscious.
One morning when she was 11 and staying at her mom’s, I suddenly felt drained of all life force. One moment I felt fine, the next moment I had to lie down in bed. I stayed there for over 5 hours. I only got up and dragged myself out of the house because I had a meeting to attend. The entire time at the meeting I felt uneasy—like I was supposed to be somewhere else.
I left the meeting, still feeling strange in a way I had never felt before—and did something I’d never done before. I went to a restaurant by myself—something I had only done when traveling out of town. Somehow the warmth and thickness of my favorite Indian dishes sounded very soothing.
When I drove into the driveway at 7 o’clock, my mother greeted me with a look of shock and horror on her face. At the same time I felt drained earlier in the day, Melanie had recklessly swerved her bicycle into the path of a car going 45 miles per hour and was in the hospital. Melanie’s mom didn’t call me right away and there were no cell phones in those days so mom couldn’t call me earlier when she found out.
I actually arrived at the hospital the moment Melanie emerged from an all day surgery. The neurosurgeon said they were not hopeful given the extent of her injuries. She was in a medically induced coma to keep the swelling in her very damaged brain to a minimum. A brain that might not have sustained the damage it did had she been wearing a helmet. Believe me, there’s no bicycle, motorcycle, horseback, skateboard, snowboard, or any other kind of ride where your head can hit the ground that’s too short to warrant a helmet.
Wearing a helmet is not just for the rider’s benefit. Many people were affected by that accident, not the least of which was the driver of the car. The shock and deep suffering he experienced from something he could not have possibly foreseen or prevented might have been a lot less had Melanie been wearing a helmet.
I’m sure there are some of you who know very personally that there are not many events in life more challenging and stressful than losing, thinking you’re losing, or almost losing your child. In addition to the emotional and mental stresses of such an event, I discovered there’s another layer—it’s cellular. A child is not supposed to die before their parent—it’s biologically out of order.
The Russians once did a study where they separated a litter of baby rabbits from their mother, putting each baby in a separate submarine and taking it to a different location. One by one they terminated the lives of those babies and each time, the mother rabbit showed a reaction. She knew! We are all so interconnected.
Melanie is living a life today very different from the one she would be living had that accident not occurred or had she been wearing a helmet. She was in a coma for weeks, the hospital for months. Her mother took the day shift and I took the night shift, sharing various energetic attunements with Melanie each night.
Melanie was and is blessed in so many ways. The minister of Huntington Beach’s very large Church of Religious Science witnessed the accident and started a prayer circle immediately—she didn’t even know Melanie. A police helicopter witnessed the accident from above, calling for aid immediately.
And Melanie was once again the catalyst for another monumental growth in my conscious awakening.
While in the coma, Melanie had one nurse who seemed hurried and frazzled most of the time. Whenever this nurse came close to her, Melanie’s blood pressure, breathing, and heart rate increased. The nurse misinterpreted this as something wrong with Melanie. Children, especially children in a coma, are aware of the energies around them and don’t need to be bombarded by energies that are other than peaceful and loving when they are already dealing with so much.
Observing what was happening, I asked for this nurse to be reassigned. This spontaneous request, in the early morning hours one night, was not welcomed by Melanie’s mom and stepdad, who personally liked this nurse and yet, were not consciously aware of the energies this nurse projected or their effects on Melanie. The discomfort I felt from them did not swerve my decision. I knew what was best for Melanie and, as uncomfortable and stressful as the pressure was from her mom, I stood my ground.
I also learned more about the tremendous inner powers we all have to heal our selves. The second night Melanie was in the coma, the liaison between the hospital and parents, said, “you can’t tell by looking at my face that I went through the windshield of a car 6 months ago can you?” I couldn’t. The day she got out of the hospital, with numerous surgeries facing her down the road, she and a girlfriend stood in front of a mirror and visualized her face being completely healed. And it was—that night—completely. Two hours. No scars. Nothing showing from the severe injuries she sustained.
While many of us know we have the power to perform such miracles, she had the unwavering faith to do so. She subsequently fell off a chair one morning, breaking her ankle. She calmly sat down, put ice on it, and told her ankle it had 20 minutes to heal before she had to leave for an appointment. It obeyed.
We all have incredible powers within, powers that can save us, transform us, amidst very extreme challenges and stressors and amidst much lesser ones too.
In the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman says: “Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is... The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.”
The Indian yogi and Guru I quoted last week Paramahansa Yogananda has a very self empowering affirmation I love and use daily. It begins: I Am the master of this body. It will obey my mind. And then concludes by stating what you would like to shift in your body with faith and firm conviction. For instance, all pain must leave now. Or all cancer must leave now. Or I will sleep peacefully tonight, awaking refreshed in the morning.
Let’s practice this together. Please repeat the first two lines after me and then state what you want. I am the master of this body. It will obey my mind. Now state what you desire to shift in this moment.
Here’s another version I invite you to repeat after me and use often.
I am the master of this body. It will obey my mind. Every cell, every molecule, every atom of my being is alive, healthy, and functioning in accordance with God’s Divine Blueprint.
And here’s a very practical one you can use before meals: Again, I invite you to repeat after me. I am the master of this body. It will obey my mind. It will easily digest this wonderful meal; assimilate the nutrients to create a strong, healthy body; and easily eliminate that which it doesn’t need from this and all previous meals.
If this affirmation process doesn’t yield results as fast as you like, don’t give up. We didn’t learn to walk and talk overnight. Learning to use our soul power to command our mental and physical bodies takes practice too. But just like walking, talking, running, thinking and more, it’s inherent within each of us.
Please know that I’m in no way saying that affirmations like this should be used in lieu of appropriate medical care when needed. No amount of prayer or affirmations in the world would have instantly saved Melanie’s life without the blessings of modern medicine or the healing touch of a fully realized being like Christ or Buddha.
The unexpected gifts arising from this situation continued. One morning during that first week of the coma, I was walking around the block and noticed a girl about Melanie’s age walking toward me.
At that moment, I also felt Melanie all around me. I heard Melanie, as if she was speaking through and as every particle in existence, saying . . . “Look Daddy, I’m the trees. Look Daddy, I’m the sky. Look Daddy, I’m the little 10 year old girl walking toward you. Look Daddy, I’m everything. I’m everywhere.” Talk about having one’s consciousness expanded.
Overwhelmed in tears of recognition, I realized I had to expand even more if I wanted to relate to Melanie on this new level. And I did. And she promised me she would be back if I promised to also stick around on this beautiful planet we live on.
So yes, stress beyond what I could possibly imagine yielded gifts, awakenings, beyond what I could possibly imagine.
In “Unapologetically You, Reflections on Life and the Human Experience”, Steve Maraboli said: “I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.”
And it was stress at the core of Melanie’s careless bike riding that morning. She had just graduated from fifth grade, the last grade in the school she was attending. Her best friend was moving to another city. Her mom and stepdad had just moved into a new house. The world she knew was disappearing. As conscious parents, we need to be attuned to the stresses our children are confronting.
Melanie was scheduled to be with me for two weeks when the accident happened but had asked to go back with her mom early because of all the stresses. While she was with me, I saw that she wasn’t as centered as usual. She was losing her balance at times. Something she never did. We actually sat on a curb and had a talk about being careful. Being aware before she got really hurt.
Her mom and stepdad were not as aware of the stresses she was experiencing. It’s not easy being aware of our children’s state of beings when we have our own daily challenges.
Those challenges may be financial, physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. They may be related to love relationships, caring for elderly family members, business or lack of business, our housing situation, food, or a combination of things. Parenting is challenging. Conscious parenting is challenging.
As individuals, we have very little control over some of the challenges and stressful situations in life--environmental toxins including radioactivity; antibiotics, fluoride (yes fluoride), chlorine and other toxins in our water; the nickel being used in gasoline, which disrupts our glands—like the thyroid. We may have taken the lead out of gasoline but we didn’t make it any safer!
We may have little control over such stressors, or silent killers, but we are not powerless.
We can make ourselves aware of these issues, let our voices be heard, and protect our children and our selves as best we can. We can filter our water, eat foods and supplements that remove radioactivity and other toxins from our tissues, exercise, play, walk in nature, and breathe!
Motivational speaker Brian Vaszily says, “Take your seat on the shore. Listen to the ancient voice in the waves. Taste the salt of life on your tongue. Run your fingers through the eternal sand. Breathe deeply. If you find yourself worrying about your cell phone and emails, if you find yourself feeling guilty that you should be doing “something important,” breathe deeply again. And again. Breathe deeply until every fabric of your being is reminded that this, being here, is your top priority. This is peace. This is wisdom.”
Are you breathing in this moment as you listen or are you holding your breath? Notice. Breathe.
Some stressors we actually have control over but create for ourselves anyway—like not getting enough or even too much sleep, play or exercise. By eating or drinking too much. By putting foods in our bodies they cannot possibly digest and eliminate—like GMO’s, genetically modified foods (corn, Hawaiian papayas, soy products, canola oil, some zucchini and yellow squashes, sugar made from sugar beets, nonorganic meat products where the animals were fed GMO foods, and many more).
The vast majority of non-organic products sold in a conventional supermarket, including pet foods and baby foods, contain some form of GMO corn, soy or other ingredients. You can safely assume that all restaurants, that do not openly state they are organic and/or GMO free, are serving GMO food.
Not only do we have Monsanto to thank for leading this GMO assault on our health, we can thank them for MSG--an addictive, highly allergic, deadly, super stimulating toxin to the nervous system that doesn’t have to be specifically disclosed. It took a near heart attack for me to learn about the hazards of MSG. We can also thank Monsanto for the glyphosates (think Round UP), the weed killers, which are now a more significant problem in our food chain than GMO’s.
Glyphosates are the most widely used toxic chemicals in the world today. Glyphosate residue from Roundup now contaminates more than 80% of the US food supply. It’s been linked to over 32 modern diseases and health conditions, including kidney failure and babies being born without brains.
As conscious parents it’s our responsibility to be very conscious of the foods we offer our children. Do we offer them food poisoned by conglomerates more evil than the wicked queen in Snow White or organic, pesticide free choices from local farmers?
Do we offer them foods and liquids we microwave and molecularly transform into something our bodies do not recognize as food or nourishment or do we take the time to actually prepare meals in ways that maintain the integrity of the food. It’s no wonder some countries have banned microwaves, GMO’s, glyphosates, and the like.
As conscious parents we have an obligation to be aware of all the different hazards and stressors attacking our children and find ways to alleviate them as best we can.
Continued in Blog: Consciously Embracing & Transcending Stress "Continued"
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